Lately, God has been showing me some pretty fresh things about friendship. One of the things I’m learning is that friends can be lifelong, seasonal, and flavorful…like a close friend, close sister, co-worker, friend from school, sister in Christ, mother (as an adult relationship), or even an acquaintance. However, something the Lord has been showing me in this season is that no matter who they are or how long they’ve been in my life, I must have integrity with them. And this means telling them the truth, even if it hurts.
Sometimes this can be hard, because you don’t want to hurt them. However, if God is impressing upon your heart to share with them the truth or bring to light something they may have done or said that is clearly in error with Him, sometimes He’ll beckon you to help your friend to get back on the right track. And of course, we must do this with all humility, not arrogantly. I’m reminded of the Scripture in Galations 6:1-2 which says, “Dear brothers and sisters, if another Christian is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone in need, you are only fooling yourself. You are truly a nobody.”
God is interested in people, and He wants us to show love to our friends. But not just through going out to lunch, or having a spa day (which I absolutely love), but He desires that we have wholesome friendships where we’re able to tell the truth in love…even if it hurts or causes some discomfort. God is in the tough stuff. Yet, I’ve found that once you work through the kinks, it’s a beautiful thing and you have so much joy afterwards!
It’s sort of like this. Just the other night, I was combing my daughter’s hair to prepare for church the next day. Now at first she was handling it pretty well as I began rolling it up. But when I started getting to the nitty gritty, she began scooting, squirming, and eventually tears began to fall. Why? Well, quite naturally, it’s because she’s tender-headed. Nonetheless, I was as gentle as I possibly could be, yet there were times when I had to get through the kinks in order for her hair to come out smooth and beautiful for the next day. I knew that if I didn’t do it then, it would hurt her even more, later. So I had to do what was best. And in the end, it worked out! I have to say here, that I was quickened by the Holy Spirit that that is exactly how we can be with our friends sometimes.
Everything could be all smooth at first, and then all of a sudden, there’s that kink! What do you do? Do you just brush over it and let it get knotted up, or do you comb through the issue as gently as you can, so that it works out best for her and everyone else around her? The bottom line here is that we address the real issues and tell our friends the truth at all cost, even if it hurts them. For instance, if you have a friend that is in an adulterous situation or having sex with someone she’s not married to, will you talk to her about it or simply sweep it under a rug and say, “That’s not my business.” Or what if you have a friend that’s not behaving in a manner that pleases God and you know that it can hinder her walk and effectiveness for the kingdom…will you talk to her about it or say, “Oh well, she knows better. That’s not my problem. She knows how to talk to God. I’ll just pray for her.” Better yet, what if you have a friend or colleague that doesn’t know Christ? Will you share Jesus with her, or just let her wallow in sin and go to hell someday? It’s just that serious, ladies. Proverbs 12:26 says, “The godly give good advice to their friends, the wicked lead them astray.”
When we see our friends going down a wrong path, we need to stop, pray, and ask God, “Lord, how can I help?” He knows how to reach his daughters and aspiring ones! Sometimes it’s simply through a prayer, but then other times He requires us to go a little bit further to work out the kinks for their best interest and others. I have to mention here that sometimes your friend may not like it initially when you start combing through the issues (like my daughter), but later they just might appreciate it and feel the love from above. Be encouraged sis. Proverbs 27:17 says, “As irons sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.” Tell the truth in love, and you’ll both be stronger in Christ!
Remember, Jesus is coming back soon. Let’s get ready from the Inside Out.
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