Emotions: Study to Be Quiet

By Inside Out with Courtnaye

I know this might seem like a strange title, but it’s definitely biblical. Not only that, but it’s something that we as women must learn to do…especially when we’re on an emotional high. But before I go on, I need to ask you this question. Have you ever studied to be quiet? I mean, really studied? Well, if you have or haven’t I pray that this post will help enlighten you on the subject.

The Bible tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:11, “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we have commanded you.” The NLT version says it this way, “This should be your ambition: to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your own hands…” I love this Scripture! Personally, this verse has helped me soooooo much in times when I’ve needed it most. Times when I could have said or done things that would have not pleased the Lord at all or anyone else for that fact!

And it simply means to strive to live a quiet life in your spirit. It doesn’t mean that all of a sudden you have to be this quiet person who doesn’t say anything, especially if you’re an extrovert or outgoing person. And it doesn’t mean that you have to be quieter if you’re an introvert or already a naturally quiet person. Instead, it means choosing to be quiet in your spirit in word and action when necessary. It’s being meek (humble), while practicing self-control on the inside, so that godly character will be displayed on the outside.

Now, do we pass the test here all the time? No. Because sometimes, we make mistakes in this area. But the key is that we learn and grow from this principle, so that we can apply it more and more as time allows for it. Amen!

The other part of that verse is “minding your own business and working with your own hands”. And this basically means staying focused on what you need to be doing instead of getting caught up in what others are doing or saying around you. Trust me. This is easier said than done. I know (especially when we’re emotional as women). BUT it can be done. I believe it, because the word of God tells us that it can be accomplished. We just have to rely on the Holy Spirit to help us.

Okay. So the whole point here in today’s post is that we learn how to truly study to be quiet and get a handle on our emotions. We have to literally practice it. Furthermore, we have to choose to put on a gentle and quiet spirit like 1 Peter 3:4 says, “You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious to God.” (NLT) We have to get this principle. We have to get off of the emotional roller coaster and experience true inner peace.

So how do we do this? Actually, I asked the Lord to show me how to do this practically. Because I'll tell you, I had an experience where I messed up. I then asked the Lord, “God, I tried everything to shake my emotions. I tried being totally quiet, praying in the spirit, sitting still, etc. But then all of a sudden the words still broke loose. I still messed up here.” I didn’t curse or anything like that, but I expressed my emotions when I should have been quiet. Bad move! After confessing and repenting, the Lord told me this, “You’re going to have to come to Me.”

When He said that, I was like, “Okay…” But He knew that I didn’t totally grasp it. I still wanted to know how to really do this, because I really wanted to get this right.That’s when He revealed to me what He was saying. He was saying that I am going to have to quietly escape to Him right where I am...in the moment. And when I wondered what that actually looked like, He reminded me of a friend who did it in action.

We were at a women’s conference and everyone was praising God and singing, and then all of a sudden I saw her for a quick moment, lift her hands in the middle of everything and quietly pray beside me. I knew something had happened that I was unaware of, but I saw her enter into a place that was beyond where we were and it taught me an instant lesson.

Tap in…

Right after that, she immediately went right back into praising God with everyone else! It was awesome! It was godly character in action! I later learned that someone had spilled her coffee after she’d waited so long to get it. But she knew that she had to stay focused (because she was the event coordinator). She knew that she couldn’t let that spilled coffee wreck everything that God was doing through her that day or her future. She studied to be quiet. And she was minding her own business, working with her own hands, as she put on a gentle and quiet spirit. Wow! I thank God for using her to teach me a valuable lesson that day.

The Bible tells us in James 1:19, “…be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Your anger can never make things right in God’s sight.” (NLT) So when someone upsets us or circumstances are tough, we have to pause for a minute and go to Him. Sometimes we may have to pull out everything we’ve got to do the right thing. And we may even have to talk to ourselves and say, “Snap out of it girl! Get yourself together!” But the main key is that we get connected to Him.

Again, I know for a fact that this is not easy. I’ve passed some tests with this and failed some as well. But I’ve learned from those mistakes, and now I’m trying to help you to grasp this principle too. I pray that this has helped you in some way, sis. I also pray that you and I will practice being quiet in our spirits when the Holy Spirit prompts us to do so, and that we’ll tap into God’s presence when we need Him most. I just believe that when we do this, we’ll not only be greater influences on others around us, but we’ll also put a smile on our Father’s face.

Remember, Jesus is coming back soon! And those who endure unto the end shall be saved. So let’s be ready from the Inside Out!


QUESTION: Have you ever let your emotions get the best of you, sis? Would you like to get better at being more quiet in your spirit? If you need prayer, you can email me directly @ insideoutwithcourtnaye@gmail.com. I look forward to hearing from you and praying for you.

ALSO, my NEW 8-Week Study Guide and Video Teaching Series from my book, "IDENTIFIED: Knowing Who You Are in Christ & Moving Forward in Your Purpose” is FINALLY available!!! Purchase here.

*Tune in every Monday at 7:30am for new posts, “Like” my Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/InsideOutWCourtnaye), and follow me on Twitter at https://twitter.com/InOutwCourtnaye. Also, share this blog with friends, family, co-workers, or your women’s group or ministry. I’d love to stay connected and help more women grow in the Lord! Thanks again and may God be with you!



About the Author:

Courtnaye Richard is a Christian blogger, author, and minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ. She is the founder of Inside Out with Courtnaye – a ministry designed to help women grow stronger in their walk with the Lord from a biblical and practical perspective, live out their life purpose, while also preparing them to be ready for the soon return of Jesus Christ. She’s all about real life, real talk, and real faith! She reaches thousands of women through blogging, but also ministers through devotionals, videos, audio messages, social media, speaking engagements, and her monthly “LIVE” chat on 1st Tuesdays of each month entitled, “Let’s Talk.“ She resides in the Texas Hill Country (outside of Austin, TX) with her husband and three children.


  1. Marie Jackson January 12, 2015 at 8:39 pm - Reply

    Courtney, thanks, you and Jesus Christ came through for me again! I’m hurting real bad right now, but my faith is in tact. I did something stupid and I am so sorry for that. My mind has been in a vicious battle cycle for a while now, to the point of painful tears. The scriptures are helping a lot. Thanks for letting me share. Your Sis, Marie Jackson.

    • insideoutwithcourtnaye@gmail.com January 21, 2015 at 1:06 am - Reply

      Praise the Lord that Christ came through for you again sis! He’s faithful! It’s a step by step, faith unto faith process. Thanks for writing in! May God continue to keep you…even through the tears. ~Courtnaye

  2. Fosen January 23, 2017 at 4:33 am - Reply

    Courtney, thanks a million for taking time to share this insight Father laid in your heart it meant a whole lot to me and I ask Father to help me attain this in the power of the name of His dear son and my big brother our Lord Jesus Christ. I have been struggling to be consistently consistent in character, attitude and virtues that are able to make me be all that Father has for me. I need to grow consistently.I depend on His help and thank God for helping me with this light from you sis

  3. Monique Jones October 3, 2017 at 9:44 am - Reply

    Thank you for the insight study yourself to be quiet. I have never been that person. I need to pray and ask God for the strength to do this. My marriage is shaky because of my husbands infidelities and my unwillingness to control my tongue in heated arguments. Please pray for us. God bless you and your ministries in Jesus Name. Amen

  4. Bianca December 31, 2018 at 8:10 pm - Reply

    Wow! What a Word! Thank you for your obedience in writing this post! I’m learning I mustn’t be feeling and thought led, but Faith and Truth led. We absolutely must get to a place where we are walking out the Word of God and not merely hearers. May the Lord continue to bless you and shine His face upon you. In Jesus name.

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